sinner

I grasp your sadness:
my thorn
in Your side

as if my heart is proud down deep
somehow free, somehow my own now

unfulfilled.
dry and blank I wait for your blessing
as I claw, every time deeper
regretting but not repenting

only hoping to believe in forgiveness

my soul is an animal
but burrowing and climbing
I cannot escape my thorn
in Your side

so You wait.
you let me scream.
you let me want You
until I awake disappointed

my thorn
in Your side
remains. untouched.
"I'm sorry, but I'll leave it in"
I hear myself say

so I crumble.
sometimes hating the thorn
other times grinding it in to hide it

and there You are.
waiting for me to ask
to ask and believe
that You'll remove my thorn
from Your side